One Up

Category : Misc.... (Some writers are so lame, they don't know what category their writings come under! Gosh!)

It’s about who gets the last word. It’s always about that. That’s when the argument is won. You may justify your stand by a million rational things, scientific graphs and unscientific caricatures drawn and designed in a fit of anger, but there’s no sure way of knowing you can win the battle. You could present a “presentation” (I like the way I put it! Am I clever or what!) really well, with power-point, added a little animation, some Shakespearean drama lines to explain a “technical” software and smirk at your opposition thinking you’ve one-upped them. But if your opposition sitting next you, comes very close to your range-of-hearing and says just-for-your-ears-only, “My! My!” – They’ve taken their hand and put it on top of yours. They have one-upped you, until you suitably reply, “yeah! Let’s wait and see” or find something unprintable or nasty (how ever irrelevant or kiddish) to say.
The most common “end” lines are “oh, just shut up!” and “shut up!” or “will you please shut up?” (Said by the more courteous ones!) These are the “ultimate” lines – any of the “You little hippopotamus” (God, the print media is really smudging my venomous streak – and making me say really mild things. But I respect the written word, since I have written them!), or probably the “ You blood sucking leech” (simply to make an ostentatious display of your knowledge in biology and of the members of the family ‘Hirudinae’). You have more nasty things to say, but you stay mum simply because your mother wouldn’t like you using those words and you are as conscientious as the Gods themselves. You know your not infallible but you make it appear so. Your theories suddenly become allegoric, so that nobody can question you on that. Why of course, they have a base. You have nothing more to say, but you wouldn’t give up. You continue it with a ”Oh so did they teach you that in school?” or pretend to enjoy a delectable morsel of croissant and say “ Well well, I guess we all have our own opinions” feeling cheated in retrospect, because you had none!!

You vow to fight. Fight tooth and nail (simultaneously thinking if that was the phrase you wanted to use), fight for the trophy (which of course would be the color draining off your opponent’s face), fight for that one last word that would end the battle, with you emerging as the winner and brandishing your unscathed ego! The going can surely get tough if your opponent is as worthy (or as stubborn) as you. An eye for an eye, and another sense organ for every one of the foe’s sense organ! You aren’t going to give up.

It’s a battle of wits, trial of knowledge, clash of egos and the test of time (well, not really). Contortions of the face and grimaces are not going to deter you in any manner. The goal is clear. The vision, lucid. Your worthy friend brings out his best tools. His mathematical and statistical skills are fabulous. You are left flabbergasted by his vast knowledge on the markets and the current affairs. He regurgitates all that he’s learnt from the time of his pre school. He’s made his point. He’s proved his worth. And most importantly, he’s got the last word. AND THE WINNER IS…
“Ahem…Ahem…Do you happen to have more biscuits??” Every pair of eyes turns to you. You’ve done it. You’ve hit the mark. You’ve stolen the last word. You’ve won, and that’s all that matters.